Learning, Living and Loving Patience January 15, 2009

Waiting for things has never been my style. Once I decide something should happen, together, my excitement and determination turn into rocket fuel and I work and work until I get the results I want.
It has been with great frustration and an enormous amount of restraint that I have agreed to stay in my way-too-small apartment for another year. My fiancé and I decided that the fiscally responsible decision would be to stay where we’re at until after our wedding in July and plan on moving into a home by Christmas.  I’ve since concluded that I must not have been listening and therefore my agreement is invalid. A year, twelve months, fifty-two weeks . . . what was I thinking?
As of now I am living in a 971 square foot, two bedroom apartment. If I lived alone this would be great for now. However, the addition of a fiancé, a 4-year-old, a beast-of-a-treadmill, two large recliners, one ottoman, two desks, a filing cabinet, a craft organizer and all of the usual things like bedroom furniture, a couch, entertainment center, etc…it’s a challenge to even walk around.
My kitchen is just, well, it’s a little like trying to cook in a kitchen designed for Thumbelina. It’s cute, but far too small. There is almost no counter space once you add in the microwave and coffee pot, so where can I prepare anything? Enter Mr. Stovetop. This, I know, it totally ridiculous, but when you’re short on space and options you must get creative.
After two and a half years in this apartment, I am so beyond ready to move I often find myself making plans as if I actually were. I pour over the classifieds section looking for three bedroom, two bath houses and write down numbers almost daily. I know that I agreed, that I gave Chris my word . . . but somehow pretending otherwise makes it easier to deal with the reality of my tightly cramped, stovetop abusing situation.
Since I have given my word and I don’t think my “I wasn’t listening” idea is going to fly, I now accept that I have to find a way to be at least content here until Christmas.
Strategy number one: immerse myself in wedding mania. Until now I haven’t really been into the whole planning part of my upcoming nuptials, where as most bride-to-bes go into overdrive the moment Mr. Right slides a ring on their finger. I basically put it off until my friends and family started making me feel lazy. Now, in a matter of weeks, Chris and I have chosen and booked a ceremony site, a reception site, send out an update e-mail to my six lovely bridesmaids, picked out very sweet invitations, nailed down a specific time for the ceremony and reserved our hotel room for the wedding night. Kudos to me, for I have successfully distracted myself from my desire to move by replacing it with the burden of hundreds of wedding tasks.
Strategy number two: follow through with obligations already set in place. My life is very busy even on a slow day, so I have decided to attack all unfinished projects and goals to help push back thoughts of big backyards and feng shuied home offices. Currently I am putting together the family cookbook I started long before Thanksgiving, working out regularly to accomplish my weight-loss goal (for life, not just the wedding,) spending more down time with my joyful little boy and putting a lot of energy into doing well in school. The last seven years of my life I’ve been a college student. No, I’m not in med-school, I’m just taking a round about way to the finish line. I’m a senior at Sam Houston State University and have been “about to graduate” for nearly three years now. It’s time to kick it into gear and get that diploma locked down and out of the way.
Thankfully this apartment/house situation has forced me to look deep into my life and see what I am actually accomplishing in it. There will always be something I want, something I think I need. Learning to wait and give ideas a little more time to marinate before making big changes is an ability I know will enable me to succeed long term.
This doesn’t mean I believe in procrastination or sauntering through life. Once you’ve given an issue the proper consideration, it’s got to be go time. Now, is all the time anyone has to make a difference or to make an impact. Now, is the only chance anyone gets to make their lives a more accurate reflection of themselves.