How-To: Bring Your Family Closer Together January 8, 2009

New Years has come and gone and I must admit, I made no formal resolutions. But, unofficially, I did recently decide to modify my home-life around in hopes of bringing my family and I closer together. A couple of the changes we’ve made so far are logical, free and seem to have made a substantial difference.
Get up early every day and spend your mornings together. Though I am very much a night person (there’s something about the night that just makes it easier to breathe, to think and to write . . .) this has been my favorite change so far. I’ve found the dim, quiet morning to be a very relaxed time when you can just be together while you slowly get ready for the day. I realize that most of us struggle with just getting up on time let alone early, but if you set up as much as you can the night before it will be a lot easier to have extra time in the morning. This includes the coffee pot, everyone’s breakfast and lunch, preparations for dinner, all outfits complete with briefcases/purses and anything else that can be done ahead of time. When these things are already done, it makes the chances of racing around in the morning and being late to work very slim, thus giving you a low-stress start to the day.  Yes, it means you will have to make time in your already jam packed schedule to work on tasks for tomorrow’s adventures—but remember, this way you’re giving yourself about 14 hours to get these things done instead of maybe two. Besides, it just makes sense to start your day off as peacefully as you can so you’re better equipped to deal with the demands you’re sure to face later on. Sharing this time with your family gives you a wonderful sense that you’re “in it together.” For parents, taking the extra time to cook your children breakfast and talk to them about whatever is on their increasingly inquisitive minds can make a big difference in what kind of parent both you and your child see you as. If you’re there to listen, more often than not you’ll find they will want to share their thoughts with you.
Another great idea is to save errands for Saturday and Sunday. Most of us are guilty of cramming everything into our weekly routine just to free up the weekend. Spending almost no time together five nights in a row so you can maybe spend two days together at the end of an exhausting week doesn’t make sense. It breaks up the consistency people, families and especially children need to feel secure and be truly content with their home-lives. Come home after work; don’t line up three or four stops along the way. Mix things up by surprising your child up with an impromptu trip to the park, the batting cages or the movies. If you don’t have children, go to the park yourself and take a walk or knock out tomorrow’s prep work early. Board games and cards are always fun and the kids will love to play. Seeing your loved ones happy and excited is a natural stress reliever and gives you a warming feeling of contentment. Theme nights are great to try out, too, like, sports night with hot wings, a game of catch and an evening showing of The Sandlot. (Hint: men tend to be happier when tasty food is involved!) Whatever you do, just do it together. By making yourself available to your family it lets them know you have made them a priority and you value their company. Nail shops, hair salons and grocery stores are all open on Saturdays, ladies. Make due. Menu planning and to-do/shopping lists really help here. Of course there will always be something you can’t avoid doing during the week, so in these cases make every effort to take care of it on your lunch break. You will have to do some things on weeknights, but just make sure it’s the exception the rule and not your normal routine.
The most important part of being a closer family is truly being grateful for the time you have to spend together, whether it’s thirty minutes a day or three hours—be grateful. Teach your children how to thrive and be happy in all situations by offering yourself as an example. Everyone’s lives are different but I believe the basic principals behind these suggestions can be helpful to all. Your life only happens once; there are no second chances to be a better mother, father, son, daughter, sister or brother—so be who you want to be every moment you can.